Tuesday, September 28, 2010

first love? .. and i'm confused.

-edited-

Allah Maha Adil

15 comments:

  1. wuuuuuuuuu..first love was like a greatest love of all..but, we have to move on.

    we have to cherish for what we have now.yg ada di depan mata kita..=)

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  2. hana: i knowww. no one can ever replace him. but how i wish i get to see him one more time and he tells me straight to my face that he no longers loves me. at least i can live my life happy... i am clueless.

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  3. my take is simple, if that person is destined for you then eventually things will fit into its place.

    i also had my fair share of love drama. my fiance and i broke up twice. 1 - family didnt approve 2 - his own reason

    brokenhearted was underrated to describe what i felt back then. but we moved on and still keep in touch. somehow 3 years ago, after 2 years being apart, we came to our senses. that if we're meant to be then we're meant to be. i broke up with my ex-bf so that i can be with him thinking that my fiance is the one. (with help of solat istikharah, of course)

    miss x, if you're still clueless, i think the best way is to turn to Allah. dulu whenever i had doubt with my fiance, i always doa - kalau dia yang terbaik buat diriku, Kau tetapkanlah hatinya dan dekatkan dia padaku. Kalau dia tidak elok untuk diriku, jauhkanlah dirinya dariku. I guess it works. Wallahualam

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  4. i nearly drop into tears when i read this entry..huhu..eventhough i x pnah rase how to be heart broken..but i can feel how hurt u are..xpe2..yg penting the one that u're going to marry now is someone yg sgt syg kan u..

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  5. babe,

    trust me, i 100% understand your situation and how you feel when you wrote this entry. my first love also left me with no words,and i cried and waited TWO YEARS before i realised maybe he just didnt want me anymore.now,i'm with someone else,been together for four years,but on 'his' birthday last march,i pon xsangka yang i boleh tiba2 teringat kat dia sampai i sanggup drive pegi rumah dia.sampai depan umah dia,i nampak kereta n kucing dia, n i menangis.half an hour later,i drive balik rumah. gila kan?? HAHA..

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  6. i wonder the same thing ! but i wish the he is never ever happy and one day karma will get back to my ex. owh better yet i wish him dead.

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  7. chenta: babe, i feel you. call us insane, but that is love all about. one who never fall in love, like REALLY in love, they wouldnt understand. i am the loyal type, so i dedicate my utmost love for 'the one'. and ya, 8 years, and now im thinking about him... god knows how much i love him. i taktau mcmane nak explain but ya, we shared lots of ups and downs. after we brokeup i sampai thp waktu dia study dkt UPM---i tunggu dia dekat LRT serdang from zohor-isyak incase i bumped into him just to say hye :( i remember, i was with his parents and him one day--it rained heavily and we're in a room only 4 of us. his mother asked him to leave me and expect me to understand. she disagree with our relationship. i cried and cried but suddenly he explained that we love each other... i cried even worse knowing that he is a gentleman and responsible. his father promised to let us kahwin after habis degree. but it didnt happened so, his father passed away :((( ahh.. now i'm crying...~ when we brokeup i even told him; if he finds a good lady, take a good care of her but if she doesn't i will love him again... :'(

    honey bedazzled: dont dear... but let the guilt hunt him forever. just a minor grudge enough to give the one who made ur life miserable a nightmare. sekarang mugkin tak jadi pada si jahat, tapi dia kena ingat satu hari tuhan kurniakan anak perempuan pada dia, mungkin akan terjadi and then he will understand. who knows?

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  8. moose: thank you dearest... that's what i did to get myself back when i was in a real bad condition and alhamdulillah, syukur.. Allah loves me.

    nizabeba: to be accused for one who caused one death... i terkejut. macamana his twin fullheartedly blamed me as perempuan bawa sial. i was soooooooo sad... more than that, even worse i cant describe. the fact that in 2001, the twin suka i... but i just fell in love with his brother;simple, quiet and humble , just the way i like a guy. probably that's the case... so many times the jealous twin tried to break us apart. we sacrificed a lot for Mr Selfish needs coz we know that he's single, we pity him... kadang2 even ajak him to join us dating. we wanted to go out for a celebration...my bf would sacrifice, go back home to take care of the little brothers and sacrifice our movie tickets... just bcoz his twin brother sibok nak keluar main snooker with a group of friends. just imagined pengorbanan my bf that time for his family, especially Mr. Selfish. and how i bersabar everytime so many things cancelled.... :( takpela, he successfully pisahkan kitorang and now my ex-bf is single and his twin is almost married. i wish the guilt hunt him down the rest of his life. guess wut, thMr. Selfish who used to like me before i chose his brother over him.... hahaha his fiancee macam muka i... almost the same, just a petite version of me like....erk...?

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  9. miss x, sedihnye dengar cerita u. hugs!

    my fiance and i broke for the 1st time because his dad doesnt approve him dating at that time. padahal before we fly, we've been together for 2 years (under his dad radar). when he's home, i cant call him sbb takut his dad will notice. and macam2 lagi la. semua benda kena sorok2. sampai i macam give up but i stay because i love him. he's my first love.

    then bila his dad paksa my fiance to broke up with me. i was devastated kan that i cried to my mom for an hour on the phone. dahla masa tu baru sampai germany. lagi haru. then my mom said something, yang klo kita nak kapel/kahwin dengan orang, family plays an important role. klo family tak suka, susah. just let it go, my mom said.

    it took me almost a year to get over him. first few months tu only god knows la my condition camne. i stray a bit from god's path, did bad things i'm not proud of then i come to my senses.

    miss x, whoever did bad things to you, karma will hunt and haunt them back. his twin tu dengki sebab you chose your ex instead of him.

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  10. yupp.."taktaw camne nak explain", i can understand that as well.i agreed with moose,u shall ask HIS help to assist you.reading your story babe,somehow made me relief that i'm not alone to do those kind of insane things.

    during that two years tu, i tak boley kira how many cards, email and notes yang i anta kat dia (we're in a LDR that time), but no replies. i even googled his name, his sibling's names, anything related with him, just nak tawu how's he doing..sounds pathetic right? :(

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  11. i got the chance to read this entry..tapi sekarang baru sempat nak komen..i ada crush dengan sorang guy ne since im 14..up until now pun kadang-kadang ada rasa ntah2 he is my real love..sebab, when im with him, it feels different..not that i don't love my fiance,i do..cume, hati ne mcm lain la kalau dengan that guy tu..cume masa 14 kan ingat crush biasa je, i like him and he likes me to0, tapi kitorang senyap..being flirty at 14, ada byk bf..tukar2..paling teruk i ada bf dia single,i single dia ada gf..tp everytime kalau kite dua hang out same2,rasa lain...cume i tatau la itu just plain crush or true love.since i got engaged, i tak nak jumpe dia lagi..sbb i love my fiance,he's being nice to me, taking go0d care of me, so i don't think i have the guts to hurt him.selalu je doa semoga Allah tetapkan hati and pilihan i sekarang.I think ke banyak2 doa la babe..semoga Allah bagi yang terbaik untuk kite dunia akhirat..Allah knows better..macam mo0se kate, if we're meant to be then we're meant to be..

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  12. babe, it's normal for us to reminisce about our former lover(s) but always believe that there's a silver lining behind everything and yes, Allah tu Maha Adil.
    i would suggest you to not keep your old memories with him i.e. letters, cards, love notes, pics etc. it will only bring back memories, be it good or bad.
    i used to keep 'em all until last weekend when i was clearing my room, i saw those things from my exes. yes i opened and read each and every letter, card and i looked at the pics of us. it definitely bring back all the bittersweet memories.
    now that i'm with someone else and i'm getting engaged to him soon, i've decided to throw all memories into the dustbin. heck, i even ripped the letters, cards and pics! it gives me a sense of relief.
    it's like a form of therapy. i am no longer dwelling on the past. i'm looking forward to the future.
    i wish u the same & i wish u every happiness because u deserve it. *hugs*

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  13. woww..miss x, moose, ur stories memang tragis tahap movie okay. betul lah yang Tuhan takkan bagi kita ujian yang tak mampu kita hadapi kan. :)

    my story was more simple than both of you, but the pain i feel is just.."xtaw camne nak cakap"..mungkin itulah tahap kekuatan aku.
    so miss x, you must be stronger than me!

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  14. assalamualaikum miss x.

    thanks pernah add utk join the private blog. malangnya tak sempat buka email dan tak berjaya. now, dapat join kembali masuk blog ni.

    hurm. tak dapat baca pun still saya harap kamu kuat mengharungi dugaan yang mendatang.

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  15. chenta: tu la... but why worry about a jerk kan? why think about 'em? but anyhow, the jerk twin will sure inferior right now, takut i bagitau the fiance what he did. imagine, mula2 he likes me; rejected. he suke my best friendl rejected. he suka my another friend; rejected lagi. back to my best friend for a rebound; rejected. pathetic kan? he's a sweet talker i pity the good girl who's going to marry him. how i wish i can tell her how the fiance really destroyed my entire life with 1001 harsh statements via his unwashed mouth! like i don't know is bestfriend even told me he went to see so called 'ustaz' which brought him to conclusion and ckp i perempuan bawa sial who caused his father's death. how pathetic in this modern world kan? jangan di 'ustaz'kan nya tunang dia dah.. i pray for her.

    cik syahira: thank you dear. so do i. thinking of it makes me love my fiance more and more. alhamdulillah.

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